Beta Access • Weekly Guidance

COSMIC
ABUELA

Buenos días, mi vida. Your weekly carta from a 75-year-old Cuban abuela who actually gets you. Right now your first one is waiting. Welcome home.

Get Your Seat at My Table • $5 Lifetime
$5/month
Locked in Forever

After the first 50 members, pricing moves to $10/month.
Lock in $5/month forever—your spot is reserved.

â—†Weekly readings in Abi's authentic voice
â—†Real astronomy (not generic horoscopes)
â—†Direct feedback to the founder. Your input shapes v2
ⓘ
SECURE•CANCEL ANYTIME•NEVER SPAM

Initialize to receive:

  • â—ˆThe Natal Audit: Your exact planetary degrees (to 0.01°) & House placements.
  • â—ˆThe Orb Check: We identify your "Tightest Aspect" - the single strongest tension point in your psyche.
  • â—ˆThe Translation: Abi explains what the math actually means for your week ahead.
✓ No Credit Card Required Today✓ No Commitment
SUN: 14° LEO (10TH HOUSE)RISING: 14° SCORPIOASPECT: SQUARE (90°)ORB: 0.01° (EXACT)
From: Abi
Subject: Buenos días
To: Sofia (Leo Sun, Scorpio Rising)

"Sofia, mira, your chart is asking you to pump the brakes this week when everything in you wants to floor it. That Mars transit in your 10th house is making you ambitious, but your Moon is screaming for rest.

Don't force the door open, mi'ja. Let it open for you. If you push now, you break the lock. If you wait, you get the key. Tú puedes."

Con cariño, Abi

The Engine

The Math

Swiss Ephemeris precision down to the arc-second. No guessing.

The Magic

Pattern recognition finds the tension in your chart so Abi never misses what matters.

The Voice

Straight from Abi. Tough love, cafecito warmth, zero fluff.

Built by Us. For Us.

Betty (licensed therapist) and Glenn (the tech one) got tired of cold apps. We built this to bottle the warmth of our own abuelas. Cultural preservation, served with code.

Betty & Glenn

Questions? Abi Answers.

How often do I get readings?+

Every Sunday morning, one carta in your inbox. We zoom in on your tightest transit of the week. Nothing more, nothing less.

What if I don't know my birth time?+

No problem, mi vida. We still get your Sun and Moon from the date alone. Rising needs the exact hour, but most of my advice rides on the planets anyway.

Can I pause or cancel anytime?+

Always. No contracts, no games. Reply "PAUSE" to any email and we'll hold your spot. Reply "CANCEL" and we'll miss you, but we'll process it immediately. Your $5/month rate is locked in if you ever come back.

Is this just ChatGPT with a prompt?+

Nope. Swiss Ephemeris (NASA-grade math) for exact positions, then a three-agent system that thinks, writes in Abi's voice, and gets checked by Betty, our therapist co-founder. No shortcuts.

Why only 50 people at $5/month?+

So we build it together. The first 50 shape my voice and the future. You give feedback, you keep $5 forever. After that, price doubles.

How do founding members shape Abi?+

I read every reply. Tell me what hit home, what didn't. Your words pick the dichos, tweak my tone, and decide what we build next. Fifty voices is the perfect size for a real conversation.

Unlock Your First Carta ↑

The Signal in the Noise.

Enough cold horoscopes. Sit down with me. Just the stars and an old Cuban lady who tells it like it is, con cariño.